Whiney whine whine

My son is a whiner. He spent the whole weekend whining, which is quite annoying when you consider that I spent my only two days off with him threatening to send him to his room (or doing it). I don’t get it: he doesn’t get anything by whining. We never give in to whining. He has to ask properly or else he doesn’t get anything. So why doesn’t he stop doing it?

I know. He’s 4. So I probably have another 2 years of whining ahead of me…

Take yesterday for instance. Zak made pancakes for breakfast. He ate 2 1/2 pancakes, same as Zak and I, then complained that there wasn’t more because he was “so hungry!” Then we biked to the playground and he whined when he fell from his bike – even when he didn’t hurt himself. He whined when Zak gave him advice. After lunch, he watched a few episodes of Clifford during the baby’s nap, but when I said it was enough, he whined for more. I read him an entire chapter book, about 80 pages, and when I was done and, my voice hoarse from the effort, declared he now should play on his own for a bit, he whine because I wouldn’t read one more. He played outside with his friends for 3 hours, yet when I said we were going in he whined that he didn’t want to. He whined when Zak brushed his teeth. He whined when flossing. Then he whined when I said he wouldn’t have a song before bedtime because he whine too much. He just spent the whole day whining.

Zak had been out to shop in the afternoon but I didn’t really get any off time, so after the kids went to bed he suggested I go for a walk to get some fresh air and forget about my awful day. He thought I should knock on my friend’s door, the lady who’s child is dying. She might have appreciated a walk, too, and an opportunity to step out of the house for a few minutes. But I couldn’t do it. Because I’m shy, yes, and not quite close enough of a friend to feel comfortable doing that. But also because I knew I just wanted to whine about my son. Yet he’s alive. He will get older and get over the whining. My friend’s child won’t get older. Already, this 5-year-old (who last year could write words) can barely utter one-word responses when asked a question. The poor child keeps falling now because of a total lack of control on the right side of the body. So what right do I have to complain about my lucky, lucky life? Compared to my friend, none.

I know that you can’t compare lives like that. My plight is as real to me as my friend’s plight is to her. But thinking about it that way still made me feel like I was the whiner, not my son. If we stay consistent, he’ll eventually get over it. And if I get a few more hours of sleep, I’ll be able to laugh – instead of cry – about it. Life could be much, much worse.

Maybe my son’s whining is hereditary…

2 Responses to “Whiney whine whine”

  1. Kevin McConnell Says:

    Powerful post Sophie and rough to be going through that! At 2 1/2 A is doing a lot of whining now too. It frustrates me more than it should and I know I don’t always handle it as well as I should. The academics of parenting are so different from the realities! For us it is the frustration of knowing how A can be when she is happy and clearly communicating! You are both kick ass parents and should always hold that true. Lucky to have you as friends and to share the best times and the struggles along the way.


  2. sophie Says:

    I know, parenting is a lot easier when you have friends to complain to or just spend time with. When they say it takes a village, I think a few people in that village are just tasked with listening to parenting complaints and putting them in perspective!