Have you seen my pants?

Are pants like cats? Do they go hide in a corner when they’re about to die?

When I went back to work, I had three pairs of pants that fit. One is beige and stained profusely (Of course it is! It is beige and I have toddlers. Enough said.) so I don’t wear it at work. One is brown and has become tight after a few weeks at work (yes I have gained weight. At least I assume so because my pants don’t fit, but I don’t have a scale.). And I had my black pants, which fit much better even though they are the same brand and supposedly the same size as my brown pants. I was planning on buying some more, maybe a pair of jeans, to rotate between more than two pants during the whole work week.

Monday, I couldn’t find my black pants so I wore my brown pants. Tuesday, looking for my black pants, I found some jeans in my closet that I had forgotten existed. They are pretty worn, but they have no holes yet and they fit well so I can wear them at work. Which is a darn good thing. Because it’s Friday now and I still haven’t found my black pants.

It makes no sense! I haven’t traveled. I have a small apartment. I have looked in, around and behind the washer and dryer. I have looked on the hangers and on the floor in the closet. I have looked through my drawers – and Zak’s. I have looked on the bed where unfolded laundry goes to sleep. I have looked in the laundry basket which is never empty. I have looked in the hamper which is never empty either. No trace of my black pants. For lack of time, I have not yet checked everywhere yet, like the freezer or the kids’ drawers, but why the hell would they be there? Although you never know, my baby is pretty big on stealing clothes. Still, I would think someone would have noticed if she had dragged my pants around the house.

I know I had them last week. I did not undress anywhere but at home. I have looked in all the rooms. What could have become of my black pants? Any ideas?

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