Birthday bash

Our friends came back today. Their poor child is already having trouble keeping up with the other children because of poor coordination, lack of control over the right side of the body, exhaustion and lack of concentration. For them, the future is limited to the next few months: making sure their child dies surrounded by love and as comfortably as possible. They are preparing quite the birthday bash: 20 kids, 30 parents, a bouncy castle, a popcorn machine, a cotton candy machine, ice cream and a cake. It would be extremely over-the-top for a five year old if that child wasn’t dying (it even seems over-the-top in the current situation, but I cannot possibly judge people in this situation because I have no clue how I would react if I was in their shoes).

The sad news is they may not be staying in Vancouver for very long (because of a complicated family situation). We could use that fact to hide our friend’s death, let them move away and let our son forget about his friend. But I feel like that would be cowardly, and I don’t want him to ask about his friend in a few years only to be told that he missed the chance to say goodbye. I don’t know yet how we’ll deal with it. We’ll wait until after the birthday, but I think after that we’ll have to talk about the illness. Even though if they leave, we won’t have a chance to grieve. We probably won’t even have a funeral to go to. But maybe we can make our own little ceremony and plant a tree or something. In any case, I feel like he should be told before his friend leave that it might be the last time they see each other. Is it cruel to impose that pain upon my son? Or is it teaching him about a fact of life that he will have to cope with sooner or later, so we may as well give him a chance to grieve his friend?

If only I knew…

One Response to “Birthday bash”

  1. marie Says:

    je pense qu’il va s’apercevoir de lui-même qu’elle n’est plus comme avant au fur et à mesure que son manque de coordination deviendra plus évident
    alors il posera des questions et les réponses viendront tout naturellement
    enfin, je suis certaine que tu sauras trouver les bons mots au bon moment