34 weeks and counting

When I got to that stage of my first pregnancy, people started asking me if I was looking forward to the baby being born, and my honest answer was, not really. My pregnancy was a dream one. I slept like a baby (well, much better than a baby) all the way to the end – Zak woke up to go pee more often than I did – and I had absolutely no symptom of pregnancy. Sure, I felt heavy when going up the hill, but it was minor. I wasn’t sure I was ready for the baby to be born. I wanted the two weeks off I had planned before the birth. I was in no rush.

This time, it’s slightly different. I can’t really complain because I am still having an extremely easy pregnancy by most standards, with no water retention, no swelling, pretty good sleeping… But I feel huge. I know that objectively I am not. I am much below average for weight gain. But at this point I have gained almost as much as I did at 39 weeks with my son. And I’m still getting bigger. I don’t feel like a sexy mama anymore. I get tired really easily, and unlike the first time, I can’t rest as much: I have a son who wants some attention from his mother, roughly 24/7. The first time around, I would crash on the couch after supper and fall asleep. Now I do dished, or laundry, or whatever needs to be done. After putting my son to bed, of course. I have aches and pains that I don’t remember feeling the first time.

No, this baby is becoming less and less of a welcome companion and more of a foreign object possessing my body. I know he/she is not ready to be born yet and has to stay there for another little while, so I’m not hoping for that quick of a delivery. I have met parents of preemies, and I certainly wouldn’t wish for that. But come 39 weeks, I’ll be more than ready. And maybe it’s a good thing. Because believe you me, I certainly don’t want another child. I already didn’t – we couldn’t afford it or find the time. But now I know that I wouldn’t want to be pregnant again. So I won’t miss it as much as I did the first time around.

2 Responses to “34 weeks and counting”

  1. MoDLin Says:

    I remember those days of feeling the farthest thing possible from a sexy mama… beached whale was more like it. I think the horrible summer heat adds a lot to the feeling of “enough already!!!”
    I also found it remarkable how quickly I couldn’t imagine my life without my secound child once she was here, despite the panic I felt when I found out I was pregnant again.
    Hang in there. I look forward o future posts.

  2. sophie Says:

    Thanks for the encouragement! I’m sure the baby will find its fit in our family, even though right now it’s hard to see how we will find the time!